It's been sometime since I have blogged.....I will admit to being somewhat "selfish" with my time at home and with my family.....I haven't felt this good in many many months and I took full advantage of it during my "break" while waiting for surgery!

Not much has really changed in the past few weeks......my weight is the same....I can finish any task I start, eat what I want.....go out and about.....work......not really any restrictions......other than the horrible sunburn I manage to get in Mexico I haven't had any issues.....I stopped taking the Naproxen last Wednesday as it's a blood thinner and it was a "requirement" for surgery.....that did cause I bit of pressure back in the bunghole....but I just stayed off my feet more to manage that pain....per-registration was yesterday.... today I start the "cleanse" process..... once again along with the liquid diet through today, and NO water or food tomorrow AM and off we will go at 10:30 to the surgical center at Arrowhead for the BIG bunghole surgery we all have been waiting for!  

 I do want to share "information" regarding the type of cancer I have/had as many have questions and seem a bit confused.......the "jist" of it is this..... I have what they call rectal cancer.....colorectal cancer, colon cancer and rectal cancer are treated different as you will read below......naturally I have to have the one that is more difficult to handle....ugghhh.....what is not mentioned in the below information is the "resection" once the tumor is removed, they have to "resection" that area where the cut was made......

Also, people are asking so...do you still have cancer right now?  Well....the way the doctor explained it to me was like this.....radiation will "shrink" the tumor and "kill it" is what "we" assume.....we do not do any further testing after radiation.....we just send you to surgery to remove the "dead" tumor.......so is that considered "cancer free" at this point......yes and no......for me in my head....yes...it's dead and will be removed......in the medical world.....no......I will not be fully "cleared" until I all my test come clean for a certain amount of months......I am very anxious to get VESTER removed as I feel totally unhealthy hauling around this horrible dead tissue that has caused me sooooo many issues and has taken a part of my life.......however....I am a bit nervous....who wouldn't be I guess.....

FYI

What is the difference between colorectal cancer, colon cancer and rectal cancer?The colon and rectum combine to form the large intestine. The small bowel processes and absorbs nutrients, the large bowel absorbs water and minerals from the feces or stool and stores feces. The first 4-5 feet of the large bowel is within the abdominal cavity and is called the colon. The rectum is the final 6-12 inches of the large intestine as surrounded by the tissues of the pelvis: the spine in the back and the urinary system, prostate or vagina and uterus in the front. Although cancers of the colon and rectum are identical with regards to risk factors and biology, the treatments are distinctly different. Colon cancers are technically easier to remove and tumor recurrence in the abdomen near the site of the original cancer is unusual. Patients with colon cancer rarely require a permanent colostomy as part of their treatment.  

Patients with rectal cancers, on the other hand, frequently do require a temporary or permanent colostomy. Furthermore, because the tumor can recur in the pelvis, many patients require radiation therapy as part of their treatment. Operations for rectal cancers are more difficult technically than operations for abdominal colon cancers (see "sphincter-preservation in patients with rectal cancer").

Some personal "shares"......periodically I go back through my blog and remind myself how far I have come.....it amazes me what I went through...as it seems like such a blur most of the time....or a "gray" dream....someone told me that's the "brain's" way of protecting itself when "traumas" happen in your life......it was the same way when my son Sam passed away.....there are things I do not remember.....as during my cancer treatments.....it's very fuzzy......one really doesn't know there own strength.....

I often wonder how many people I have "reached" in getting there own bunghole checked and to share with others.....I hope ALOT and I hope it continues......it's funny how fast I went right back into my old world when I was feeling well and didn't even realize I was doing so.....I had so many times wondered if I would ever be "normal" again.....and couldn't really imagine I would be.....it seemed so far away and I had manage this issue for so long I forgot what it was like.....but....when I went right back to that world....I had no idea.....funny how life works.....

Having cancer has changed who I am and who I want to become.....it has had such an impact on my life and my family.......even during this whole time....life kept going on around me......good things...bad things...upsetting things...happy things....hard times.....fun times....sad times....day after day it just kept rolling out......it just amazes me....sometimes I thought.....seriously....can you just let me "catch up" from yesterday!  Whewwie!

I have all these "crazy" things going on in my head all the time.....for example...this AM before I opened my eyes, but was awake I laid in the guest bedroom thinking.....I didn't sleep well again....."Grey" whined  last night....he just doesn't like to be alone and the other kitty's won't let him sleep with us......my sunburn is still itchy and peeling....my stomach is upset....I can have coffee.....liquid's only today....I need to get the billing final for work.....it was so nice of Larene and JJ to stop by yesterday with a get well package.....I need to pack my bags for the hospital...I need to do laundry......I wonder what Heather wanted last night when I missed her call.....I haven't heard from Andrew.....it's probably already hot outside.....I have to pee....I need to get up.....but I'm tired....of not sleeping well......you can do this......one more day.....and another part of this journey is just beginning....for you and that damn fucking shit bag!  Yup.....that's a portion of what went through my head before I even opened my eyes this AM.....are you tired....you should be.....

Please....feel free to come see me on Friday or Saturday of this week (check on facebook to make sure I wasn't released first)....remember the "dress code"....flower item in your clothing (visible) and something "flowery" on your head!  Make my day....make me smile....bring your camera....help me do this......I couldn't of done this without  ALL of you!  Thank you again and again for your support!