A Quick post from last weeks updates.....

Radiation wasn't as bad as the third week, the third week was my roughest......thank goodness week four slowed down as time went on.....I saw the doctor on Friday and good news again.....my fifth week (this week)  of radiation will be in easier....as the tumor has shrunk  and radiation won't be as "high".....YAYYYYYY!!!  

On a sour note.... I might have a "gitty up" with Mexico for the week-end of my birthday....I will find out tomorrow when I speak to the other doctor who handles my chemo.....here's hoping things work in my favor....I REALLY wanna go........

I did realize this AM as I was getting ready for work that I can no longer just "slid" in and out of my vanity chair......my legs are to "thick" LOL.....I can really see the weight going back on and the doctor even told me I look soooo much better!  He is 99.9% sure I'm going to be just fine and that I was doing awesome in therapy and they were going to miss me....Awwww...I'm hoping to get some pictures the last week of the team I had for radiation therapy....I couldn't of picked better doctors myself.....I feel so blessed....

Oh and I found out you get a "graduation" certificate after completing all your radiation....OMG...I saw a lady's certificate who finished last Friday (lucky her) and it's kind cool....I have decided to "bling" mine out and frame it for my office at home.....this has bee my BIGGEST personal challenge I have ever had to overcome and I am proud of myself for how I handled this whole thing......I truly have come through with flying colors....not that it's over but a good portion of the hardest will be over SOON and this past week-end I felt more myself than I have in over a year....it was AWESOME and we were able to get so much done around the house.......which thrills me to pieces.....you all know how I feel about my house.....well that is the summed up version.....happy...happy....happy!!!!

Sometimes.....

"I think my bladder is full enough today".....but I'm not sure because I had to do a "urinalysis" before I came...so I had to pound my water right after that because I knew "you" (therapist) would yell at me for not having a full bladder for radiation.....she smiled and rubbed my arm....I wouldn't yell at you.....but it's for your own good.....I know I know...I'm trying....it's always something everyday anymore and I cannot seem to keep track of everything I'm suppose to do or not do.....UGHHHH

SOMETIMES my bladder is full.....and sometimes it's not....SOMETIMES I take my shoes off for radiation..... and sometimes I don't..... SOMETIMES Sally falls off my back while on the table.....and sometimes she doesn't.....SOMETIMES I doze during radiation.....and sometimes not.....SOMETIMES I can hear them come in to adjust the table .....and sometimes I don't.....SOMETIMES the therapist trips over my shoes....and sometimes she doesn't.....SOMETIMES there is music.....and sometimes not.....but ALWAYS there are three beams of radiation that attack vester five days a week.....and I ALWAYS visualize the destruction as they beam me up......and I am ALWAYS  thankful for everyone in my life before my session is done.....a total of 19 treatments under my belt with 8 more to go.....and still.....I can't say it enough..... I GOT THIS.....NO WORRIES!!!!!

Well week three under my belt per say....ha.....

The other day driving to radiation (seems that's all I do anymore) I realized there are things I keep forgetting to blog....so here is another one of my famous "blah's"

Have you ever tried Glad "press n seal"?  Well.....this is the product they told me to use when I have "Sally" hooked up to cover the port area to keep it dry in the shower.....have you ever tried wrapping yourself in Glad wrap and keeping it on when it's wet.......hummmm well lets just say....it can be very challenging......what a job everyday.....seems I have many of them anymore......

Oh and wanna chat about the syringe of lidocaine they prescribed for the burning.....now that was an education......how was this to be applied?....seriously.....Dave said...."what the hell are you suppose to do with that shove that up your ass?"  OMG.....NOOOO dignity left in any area of my life......

And the conversation at the dinner table with the kids was about "EVERYTHING" being on fire...my taint Heather...my taint.....people ask questions and have no idea all the little shit that goes along with this......

"Taf" is everything okay in there?.....(I'm in the dressing room at radiation) ahhhh.... yea....I got it..... my jeans got stuck around my calf's and I couldn't get them off.....guess I'm putting on weight.......ha....as I'm picking myself up off the dressing room.....

Oh my god....Oh my god.....my ass doesn't fall into the toilet anymore like a little kid...my ass is growing....woooohoooo.......

"Dave"...."DAVE"....you are caught up in Sally's cord....you pulling my port....." DAVEEE" seriously wake up and get untangled for Christ sake....your killing me here......what a life experience this has been......

Lets not forgot about the little old lady I see at radiation waiting for her husband......there is ALWAYS a puzzle on the table in the waiting room....and without fail.....this little old lady is working on the puzzle...and literally shoving and pounding pieces in that do not go together...I just chuckle to myself....she doesn't wear glasses.....maybe she needs them?  My OCD kicks in and I tell myself patience...patience...when she leaves you can fix it.....Ha.....okay...enough "Blah" for today....

Heading into week 4 of therapy and so looking forward to the "down slide"......radiation has been catching up with me slowly....I have tried to ignore it...until Friday.....reality is.....I'm having side effects for about 12 hours after radiation......the next day I'm fine when I get up until I head back to therapy......I will admit it's a struggle in my mind to go to radiation knowing it's going to create pain an hour after treatment.....but I know I have to do this... it's taken ALOT of what I have inside to keep this commitment let me tell you......I DO NOT like having all my "junk" on fire......inside and out......soooo uncomfortable.......just sucks.....bottom line....and I'm totally irritated and moody......UGGHHH.....

I do not have any awesome pictures this week....I really spent every afternoon in bed "whining".....  with only 13 more treatment day's left.....I know I GOT THIS......but boy I can see I need to "dig deep" now.....so if I'm a bit "sparse" my communication you will know why....I could not of done this without all the support I have ALL around me......I am blessed and I am very thankful....believe you me I have ALOT of time to think about this......here's to week 4......hurray...hurray.....VESTER you are not welcome here and it's time you are eliminated for GOOD...I can't even say it's been nice knowing you....just go away and NEVER come back.......see YA!

A bit behind in my blogging I know...I know.....only because I have so much energy back and I'm trying to play catch up with everything around me......UGH!!!  Rest rest.....I know I know....but my energy is high......I do rest a bit here and there.....Okay enough of that...I know you ALL have been waiting for those AWESOME hospital gown and high heel shoe pics.....teeeheeee

My first week of chemo/radiation ended without an issue.....woooohooo...was very happy to see Sally go back in the drawer for the week-end.....I know she is helping me....but damn it's a bit tough on the port when you forget you are attached and you walk away it pulls like a son-of-a-bitch....she almost landed in the toilet once....but only once.....ha

  My first week of  chemo/radiation I had the blood transfusion (Thursday)....I had to wear these lovely bracelets for a few days until the transfusion was done.......

Just a slight issue with the "benadryl" but nothing major....my body just doesn't like med's....period.....I was very entertained by my "German" nurse.....who had to start a transfusion for the lady across from me who only spoke Spanish......hearing the German women with her accent say "punta" over and over I about died......"punta" is slang and can mean many things, however I didn't know this until I went home and googled it.....she was referring to "pinch" and I thought she was calling her a "pussy"  OMG.....now remember I am doped up and my mind just gets out of control often....that damn ADD......I did chuckle a number of times......geeezzz

Then comes the second week of chemo/radiation.....here's where the pictures come in......teeeheee as I arrived for radiation Monday....I said to my two therapist....can you please do me a favor and take a picture of me in this beautiful gown with my shoes......they said "really".....I said yup....I'm blogging my story......they both turned around and said we think that is GREAT....we love to see you come in....your like a breath of fresh air.....ha....imagine that.....me.....anyway......they both thought I should be creative and said "pose like you are really getting on the table.....even if it's just the "bladder checking table".....okay...okay....so here they are....

  

Tuesday......Sally is back and another round of Iron......I was in and out without an issue and my blood count was good....thank goodness...I didn't want another transfusion....my energy level continues to improve everyday.....poor poor Dave.....his "honey do" lists seem to grow.....Thursday a quick visit with my doctor......well.....NOT....patiently waiting.....

I had a TON of question....one of which was "can I go to "Mexico" during my month off.....YES....YES....YES he said.....wooohooo okay now for the "serious" questions......now that I'm happy.....let me sum it up........will I need another transfusion?.....doc....I hope not.......when is my last day of chemo/radiation?....doc....May 6th....wooohoo my birthday...what a gift.......Is it normal to feel just pressure now and no more "fire in the hole"?.....doc....yes......that means the radiation is working......how long will I be down for surgery?.....doc....I don't want to speak for the surgeon...but you better plan for 3-5 days in the hospital.....2 weeks bed rest at home.....1 week home resting....then you can go back to work......Oh boy....thank god for the "go fund me account"

Sally came off on Saturday AM.......bah bye Sally.....happy dance...

Needless to say my second week of therapy went well....I have notice about one hour after radiation I need to rest a bit.....then as time went on toward the end of the week.....that was not so.....I was fine......I take it day to day....they have tried some different meds for my stomach but most constipate me and I can't have that.......the pressure is enough to drive me crazy.....they did try a medicated suppository.....OMG.....that lasted about 2 minutes......back to the bathroom and felt like a torpedo hit that porcelain bowl.......so I was done with that......not taking anything still but my naproxen.....so I would say I'm doing GREAT....headed into week three of therapy and counting......my color is SOOO much better and I feel GREAT......I count my blessings probably on the hour......thank you ALL once again......

 

  

 

I'm getting lost in my own world.....this crazy medical challenge is already sucking me dry and I'm just drained......BUT.....this one tough broad will continue to put one foot in front of the other every morning regardless.....a girl's gotta pee ya know...LOL...

Last week was the "dry run" and remapping for radiation...this was not pleasant.....lets just say when I'm on the table not only is my ass hiked up in the air...now I'm adjusted like a crooked S.....and this kills my lower back....everyday for 15 minutes.....and they have a special "O" ring to cushion my port....that is not pleasant either......Oh....the jist of it....I HATE radiation everyday.....but I go in saying "its a joyous day and I'm so happy to be here" they just laugh at me.... I'm sure they are all thinking here comes that crazy lady with her heels and our hospital gown...what a fashion statement....pictures to follow next week!  Ha

On my "off" days....they find my casual attire much different.....check out the "china women" look!

My week-end sucked....was sick on Saturday did mange to get my nails done.....doggie sat for Heather and Jake Saturday night.....rested on Sunday....I'm sure my nervous and anxiety where in full swing for chemo and radiation on Monday...... not much to desire these days....far cry from the "Taf" everyone is used to blowing through the door 150 miles an hour clanging around with all her bling.....and her ugly purse.....soon...I promise...soon

Monday.....Oh boy....radiation first.......I count the beams they are shooting in my ass ....in my head I yell "fire in the hole"....I can't really yell it out loud because my chin is resting on a cushion and I'm not allowed to move one bit.....and some of the ladies that work there are like Nurse Ratchet!  LOL I know soon I will slip up as I get to know them better....teeehheee

Then we were off to Chemo....Oh lord....once again a bit of a gitty up.....

 I'm not sure I can even remember all of it....I wasn't happy and either was Dave.....we had an appointment at 1:30 and we were still in the waiting room at 2:15......you won't believe it...another insurance issue.....not anything I needed to worry about...but they had to "verify" I have met my deductible again and out of pocket....shit really...couldn't of you done this before I came.....the receptionist said will "Rachel" checked in February.....seriously.....it's almost April....good help is so hard to find....finally in the "Chemo" chair.....baby Taf calm down I said to myself....."she is going to poke your port and that's all there is to it".....seriously I'm like a little girl....blat ass.....but first we have to check your blood.....Noooo your kidding right.....she comes back a few minutes later.....and says quietly...."are you bleeding anywhere?".......I said ....."excuse me" as I'm looking myself over......she asked again....."are you bleeding anywhere"....I leaned in and said....yeah out my ass....it's like having a period out your ass......not sure she was thrilled with my response....but I didn't give a shit....she said....I cannot treat you until I consult with the doctor......you are severely anemic....I said...well he knew that......wait AGAIN......she comes back.....you need an Iron Injecterfer and a blood transfusion....the Injecterfer can be done today, but the blood transfusion will need to be done at the hospital in outpatient care....OMG are you kidding me right now.....what the fuck.....seriously I just want this fucking over with.....she said I don't even know how you are walking around....are you dizzy or blacking out.....ahhhh yea, but I manage it.....she just looked at me....I said...this has been going on since last May......she raised her eyebrows....wow......yea....long period.....ha

Needless to say we were home at 5:30.....so much for our 30-45 minute visit for "pump" hook up....

To wrap up the past few days.....I have been to Chemo and Radiation twice.....it appears after radiation it whips my ass for about 4 hours or so.....the phrase "my ass is on fire" is totally different now......I will need to think of a phrase for what it feels like now because I'm not sure how to explain it yet, but no worries I will......I have named my "pump" Sally....she is my friend and goes everywhere with me and knows everything.......but I look forward to our departure on Friday for a week-end break.....she does get annoying.....now I feel like I have an extra hemorrhoid up my ass....Sally suck up.....well here's to hump day of my first week of therapy....yes I'm counting....so glad I have made it this far......Whewie!