It's been sometime since my last blog....starting the chemo therapy treatment that was recommended for "Preventive" treatment was a bit of a challenge for me....to say the least....

Week one.....slight side effects...the norm....nausea...headache...tired.....rash/sores in the mouth.....some numbness....okay...I can do this.....as that week went on...I started vomiting.....things weren't settling down much.....but after one full week.....I was "okay"......whew....a 10 day break....I can do this   

round two.....as we drive to therapy.....I could see the difference in my skin....looking at my veins......I thought....what is this doing to my body.......I'm thinking....I guess "they" know what they are doing.....or they wouldn't be putting such "chemicals" in me.....before I knew it.....I was "hooked" up again......here we go......I can do this....day one a slight more reaction with the numbness......day two.....my hands and mouth were freezing up......day three.....I was so sick to my stomach ....and my left leg was totally numb......that week I dealt with the side effects.... everyday....they didn't go away as fast.......I couldn't wait to get the pump off and let my body flush this "crap" out......ugghhhh....okay.....another 10 days break.....sick all week-end throwing up......damn it....

Before "round three"....I had to see the doctor......we discussed my systems.....he lowered my dosage of "chemicals" and gave me a different anti nausea med......okay....round three should be better.......ahhhh NOOOO.......the side effects increased so bad I couldn't function and they were happening more frequently......I also had to get a "boost" shot for my immune system...this is where it got ugly.......it effected my breathing....every time I sat down or stood up it took my breath away for about 10 breathes and the pain in my lungs and kidneys was something I had never felt before.....this went on for over 7 days......as far as I was concerned this "preventive therapy" was killing my organs....and  could cause permanent damage...they even tried removing the pump a day early.....that did not help......when I went in for the "shot" my hands were distorted and frozen in place.....this isn't right......it just isn't.....okay another 10 day break......however.....the days that followed were tough....these systems didn't go away for many days.....and I still have the breathing issue in the AM when I get up.....just doesn't seem right to me....

Time to see the "Physicians assistant" for my followup....this isn't going to be good.....with all the systems.....and alot of going back and forth.....they came up with a new plan.....but this still includes the "shot"......ahhhh no.....I'm not doing that.....this went on for three days back and forth trying to come up with a plan to get me to finish treatment......bottom line.....I'm done with treatment.......that's what I said.....the side effects are to great and far to many...most people might have one...or two.....I had way more than that and seems the more they changed things the worse it got....enough is enough.....

I have heard some "negativity" regarding me stopping treatment......I didn't "give up".....I choose to stop putting those horrible chemicals in my body for "preventive" therapy.....I know my body and my body was rejecting everything rapidly....it was telling me....I don't need this.....I am 99.9% sure I did the right thing for myself.....and I'm totally content with my decision.....don't judge what you do not know....please....as my doctor said....I respect your decision......thank you....that's all I ask.......

If you would like a full education on what chemicals they were using and all the side effects.....please read the links below......you might feel differently.......

http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/oxaliplatin

http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/fusilev 

http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/5-fluorouracil

http://www.drugs.com/pro/neulasta.html

The plan now...I'm still in the "waiting" period from the last procedure...the healing was between 12-16 weeks....it has been 8 yet (next week with be 8) I have made a follow up with the surgeon so she knows where we are at the treatment....my immune system needs to get back to normal (blood count needs to rise) before they can do anything anyway....I was totally depleted before they administrated the "shot".....so once again...we are just hanging out...waiting to heal......to have the "reversal" surgery done......time frame....we have no idea......I feel so much better now without any treatment....I'm just chillin' and enjoying my life.......feeling thankful for everything I do have...and the people that surround me far and near.....thank you again for your continue support......I'm so ready to move on and get back to "me" and helping others as many of you have done for me this past year!!!