Here is a women who hasn't needed to see a doctor in many years and now finds herself in more doctor's offices than she can keep up with, not to mention ALL the different procedures!

That "said" as you all probably know I went on Monday to have the "simulation" or "mapping" done for radiation.....well let me just say....it was TOTALLY painless but a "bit" challenging.....recently I have been asked the question as to why now am I able to eat and I haven't even started radiation or chemotherapy?  Well....to get down to the gritty here.....having "simulation" is a prime example of one of many issues related to having "rectal cancer".....A..... come with your "bowels" empty.....B..... come with a FULL bladder!  Ahhhh Okay.....hummm....well my bowels "were" empty when I arrived....and my bladder was full....however.....I was doing the pee pee dance.....okay....then Pee and we will start over.....seriously.....YUP....Okay....well I'm okay with that, however you might want to have this conversation with my "bowels" as they totally have a mind of there own these days.....when I ingest anything.....including liquid.....I will need to "move my bowels" which will release my Pee.....so you will need to catch me with a full bladder ASAP once it hits the bladder......Okay....we have a handheld bladder monitor....we can do this....well....we did.....Whewie......the deal is this......so to sum up "my eating" ...the long and short of it....common sense, if you have something blocking your bowel and not being able to "PooP"......you are going to get backed up.....and in time you will have a combination of diarrhea and constipation....because of the blockage......I had issues back in May.....I have been "blocked up" that long which made me very sick and in extreme pain......I couldn't eat anymore because of how much pain I was in and certain foods made it worse because of all the pressure....example  bread......so if you remember I kept changing my diet thinking I had an allergy.....I was on a totally no sugar no carb diet....anyone would lose weight.....once they started doing test and found no allergy and found what was blocking me from having "normal" bowel movements.....they put me on miralax to help my bowel pass and a soft food diet....very little breads...no fresh veggies...etc....certain foods cause ALOT of bleeding and there is nothing like having a "period" out your ass......sorry but it's the way it is.....so...yes I can eat now with comfort.....and if I choose a bad food for me.....I bleed.....but no pain.....obviously bleeding is  not what they want going on as I'm already anemic because of this whole damn thing...OKAY....back to the story.....you can't imagine the things that go through my head with these different visits......you just never know who is going to do what to you or what they are going to do....with that being said lightly......I have never had to "groom" myself so much in my life nor worry about what might "ex-spell" from my ass......on the table....ass wedged in the air....nothing on from the waste down.....a small towel draped over my butt...now lay still.....remember the full bladder....holy shit balls....all's I kept saying to myself is.....don't pee yourself....and don't shit on this women......as she was doing the "marking"......seriously....I have NO dignity left.....see pic below, there are four marks, the one on the right hip is on top and another one on the left hip.

Tuesday....St. Patty's day......I'm headed out to gather monies for shirts and to say hi to a few people on St. Patty's day....when I get the call.......another test...cancel chemo .....AGAIN.....OMG reallyyy....

I couldn't believe it.....is VESTER ever going to get terminated......not to mention my 20% of this "test".....I was beyond frustrated once again....this test was ordered in the beginning however the biopsy wasn't back yet and they denied it......now they are requesting the test be done again, and yes it's approved.....scheduled for Thursday this week....Oh goody.....I can't wait......lord....when will I start therapy.....

On a more serious note that touched my heart....my son Andrew started a "gofundme" account.....the little story he wrote was so sweet....all his own words.......see link below....

Arizona Chic A Latte 

If you don't know Andrew as I do....it would be hard for one to understand how much this means to me......we all have struggled and still do with the death of Sam.....Andrew may have some deeper wounds.....and I couldn't possible tell him enough how this touched me emotionally.....knowing some of his challenges day to day! 

Okay....I'm going to do what I call a "blah" story....this was a conversation with a truly good friend......that has been there through thick and thin.....ready....don't pee yourself....

How are you doing?  Oh....good....I'm at the legion to see Kathy and George and to get there T-shirt monies....Oh....what is going on with another test and no chemo now.....shit fire....I don't know....this test was overlooked once it was denied in the beginning...so now they are re-scheduling it for next Thursday.....wow....right...I know....well how are you doing.....I see you are eating more and gaining weight....YUP....but I have to watch what I eat....having a glass of wine was not one of my better ideas the other night.....really...why....well...to be blunt.....it set my ass on fire......oh my god.....yup.....nothing like feeling like someone has shoved a lite barbecue lighter up your ass.... fire in the hole....fire in the hole....she about died laughing....then the conversation kinda spun from there.....seriously....I don't need anything else up my ass....this pressure is killing me....my ass is always on fire....people ask me...."how are you doing?" and All's I want to say is my ass is on fire.....and I want to go home and lay back down because Vester is being a pain in my ass....literally.....and I'm really tired of the whole ass on fire thing and worrying about what might come out when I'm doing all these different procedures and all they want to do is shove more shit up my already blocked ass.....which causes more bleeding.....they do not make a tampon for periods out your ass for Christ sake.....that's "how I'm doing"......OMG...we were dying laughing.....I said people have no idea all the issues that come with this kinda of cancer......holy shit......so there you have it....all the skinny this week......